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Post by hanren on Sept 4, 2008 15:39:50 GMT 8
Maybe we can share some laugh stuffs or jokes (i.e text jokes) for some clean fun (kahit corny!). ;D Observe na lang po natin yung mga forum rules.
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Text exchange between a philandering husband and his obese wife:
Wife: babes kelan ka uuwi? Kumusta na check-up mo?
Husband: Malala na daw cholesterol at high blood ko. Pinayuhan na ako ng doctor ko.
Wife: Ano payo niya?
Husband: Iwas muna daw ako sa mga matataba. Kaya di muna ako uuwi jan sa atin.
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Post by iCeM@n! on Sept 4, 2008 18:24:36 GMT 8
Dad: Ang taas ng Phone Bill natin ngayon ah... Gayahin nyo ako, ang ginagamit ko yung company phone
Mom: Ako din company phone ang gamit ko...
Son: Ako din naman yung bigay ng company ang gamit ko...
Maid: O! yun naman pala eh, eh di pare pareho lang tayo na company phone ang gamit... ;D
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Post by iCeM@n! on Sept 4, 2008 18:26:11 GMT 8
Ang mga SCIENTIST, nag iimbento at gumagawa ng mga bagay na kahanga-hanga...
Pero sa tingin mo ba, kaya nilang gawing "WIRELESS" ang....
DEXTROSE?....
;D ;D
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Post by alan99 on Sept 4, 2008 21:29:35 GMT 8
man1: Pare pag tumakbo at nanalong presidente si binay he will surely make history. man2: Huh?  Bakit naman? ?? man1: Siya ang kaunaunahang BLACK PRESIDENT hehehehehe JOKE LANG JOKE LANG JOKE LANG |
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Post by iohannes on Sept 4, 2008 21:38:26 GMT 8
While a man and his ever nagging wife were visiting Jerusalem, the wife died. The undertaker asked the husband whether her body be shipped home for $5000 or buried in the Holy Land for $500. The man chose to ship her home. The undertaker asked, "why spend so much trouble and money when it would be cheap & wonderful to bury her the Holy Land?". The man replied, "Long ago, a Man died here, was buried here, & 3 days later, He rose from d dead. I can't take dat chance."  |
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Post by hanren on Sept 5, 2008 13:38:27 GMT 8
Love vs Marriage:
Love is holding hands in the street, marriage is holding arguments in the street.
Love is dinner for two in your favorite restaurant, marriage is fastfood takeout.
Love is cuddling on a sofa, marriage is elbowing each other on a sofa.
Love is going to bed early, marriage is going to sleep early.
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Post by hanren on Sept 5, 2008 13:42:16 GMT 8
A little girl asked her mom how the human race came to be.
Mom: God created adam and eve and we are the descendants
The little girl asked the same question to her dad.
Dad: God created monkeys and they evolved into humans.
The little girl got confused and asked her mom again.
Daughter: how come dad said we evolved from monkeys and you said we came from adam and eve.
Mom:Dear, its like this - I explained my family side, and your dad explained his..
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Post by iohannes on Sept 12, 2008 21:21:49 GMT 8
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady, and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
'I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time
I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you.
I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless
I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.
I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing
when I want with my old buddies, and don't you
give me a hard time about it.
Those are my rules. Any comments?'
His new bride said:
'No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex
here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're here or not.'
(DARN SHE'S GOOD!)
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Post by iohannes on Sept 12, 2008 21:22:25 GMT 8
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, 'When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!'
'Yeah?' she replies. 'When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff At Last'!'
(HE ASKED FOR IT!)
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Post by iohannes on Sept 12, 2008 21:23:34 GMT 8
Marriage (Part III)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, 'And you are no
good in bed either,' and storms out of the house.
After some time he realizes he was nasty and
decides to make amends and rings her up.
She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says,
'What took you so long to answer to the phone?'
She says, 'I was in bed.'
'In bed this early, doing what?'
'Getting a second opinion!'
(YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)
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Post by iohannes on Sept 12, 2008 21:24:21 GMT 8
Marriage (Part IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his
wife,' Mother of Six' in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it is time to go home
and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.
He shouts at the top of his voice, 'Shall we go home, Mother of Six?'
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion,
shouts right back, 'Any time you're ready, Father of Four.'
(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
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Post by iohannes on Sept 12, 2008 21:25:24 GMT 8
THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife
to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE),
he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.'
He left it where he knew she would find it..
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
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Post by iohannes on Sept 12, 2008 22:26:14 GMT 8
Pare1: Pare, bat naman hanggang ngayon wala ka pang syota? wala ka pa bang napupusuan?
Pare2: Meron.. Manhid ka lang!
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Post by iohannes on Sept 12, 2008 22:28:36 GMT 8
In a pet shop...
Customer talking to a parrot...
Customer: hoy! can you talk ha?! bobo!!!
Parrot: yes i can!!! ikaw?! can you fly ha? GAGO!!!
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Post by snerac on Sept 14, 2008 7:03:25 GMT 8
Tarzan swings, Tarzan falls, Jane saves him by grabing Tarzan’s balls. Now you know why Tarzan goes: “Aaaaaaahhhhhh!” ———- Jun negotiated with a prostitute that he would pay by cheque. The cheque bounced. When she got it from the bank, the reason given was- INSUFFICIENT FUN! gudam ———- I was walking down an alley ng may biglang sumigaw: “Hoy malibog!” nagalit ako! Saka ko sinapak…. “Wag na wag mokong tatawaging.. Hoy! ;D 13 Check more text jokes / messages at MyDailyText.i.ph |
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Bakit naman?